My Breakup Letter to Lululemon

Dear Lulu,

I'm breaking up with you. Don't get me wrong, I believe we've had a good run together: those early awkward years in college when the freshman ten were upon me and none of my clothes fit except my old faithful lulus, not to mention how a fresh outfit always got me back to the gym after a bad breakup. I appreciate that in an "Aritizia-esque" way I can go into your store anytime and am basically guaranteed to find something that looks great on me.

"Its Not You, Its Me Lulu...." (FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Understand that "its not you, its me." I still have absolute faith in your product, and love the choice of color and the super-flattering, ultra-functional high-quality designs. But I gotta say Lulu, I no longer love shelling out $100 or $100 plus for a pair of workout pants. Yes I know they last forever - I could literally send them through the dryer for like the next four years (like that chair you see being sat on every 3 seconds at Ikea). I have tops from like 8 years ago that are still totally wearable...

However times have changed, Seeing your logo no longer sends a chill down my spine. I've got a mortgage to pay now. Don't get me wrong I'm a stay-at-home Mom and workout addict so the yoga pant is like a uniform for me. However the days of your competition having nothing to offer but racks of ill-fitting too-tight workout clothing are over. There's now an abundance of online shopping with free shipping. Great workout fashion is now available at an affordable price, oh and I'm not obligated to wear it for the next 8 years because I paid such an exhorborant price for it, or wash my workout gear multiple times a week because I spent so much on a few pivotal pieces that I don't have enough to go around.



"Okay Its You Too, You've Changed Lulu!" (FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

When I say its ENTIRELY me, I'm not ENTIRELY telling the truth. You've changed. You used to be my cool West Coast vice no one knew about. I would return from Vancouver in my hip and unique Lulu Athletica attire and people would ask me where I got it and mispronounce your name when I told them. Then you went West. You opened a flagship store in - gasp - Calgary. Pretty soon everyone in Western Canada was rocking your designs (I won't even mention what happened in the Okanagan), no longer - what felt like - just an ultra cool Pamela Anderson and myself. 

Our relationship just didn't feel special anymore. While still luxury you became mainstream and "common" when EVERYONE started wearing you......(Don't feel bad Lulu, the same tragedy befell Louis Vutton).

But you got SO mainstream I actually see straight men wearing you now.....

I hate to even bring it up Lulu but you must admit we've had some rough patches, there was the whole see-through pant incident we won't speak about, the time you rolled all your sizing back so a six became and 8, a 4 a 6 and so one and so forth (if you don't remember this thats how far back me and Lulu go!), oh and the fact that you used to make all of your clothing in Vancouver Canada before you sold out of your pseudo-spiritual mandate and started mass-producing it all in China, land of no costly human rights regulations (and charging even more for it!)

Its not that I don't still love you Lulu. I will always have a place for you in my heart. I'll pay good money for what is unique and good quality, but I feel like a fool paying $70 for a different color variation of a shirt every girl in my crossfit class owns. When I can shop C9 at Target and buy 10 comparable items for the price of your two, its a total deal-breaker. The other day I complimented my girlfriend on a pair of workout pants and she told me a girl at her gym sewed them custom for her - for $60!!

Bottom line is, you did this to yourself Lulu. You got so huge so fast and you decided to jack up all your prices and forget about all the little people that believed in you and supported you along the way. So I'm on to find the next thing...

Its not that I still don't want to see eachother on occasion, but I will no longer allow myself to pursue you with such single-minded abandon. You ain't my ball and chain no more Lulu! When someone tells me with pride what a "Lulu junkie" they are,| I think to myself: I hope you'll be really happy together, because you and Lulu deserve eachother.

Love,

A Former Lulu Addict

 

(FreeDigitalPhotos.net)